He’s ducked outside for a cigarette. The parents are out for the evening – some social gig his mother had insisted on attending – and Cam is stuck looking after his siblings again. Not that Ryan
needs to be looked after, as he’s been continually insisting. Cam had finally given up, snapping “Fine,” and informing his younger brother that if he doesn’t need a baby-sitter, then he can damn well take over watching Molly for a few minutes, cutting off any protest by informing Ryan he’s lucky Cam isn’t ditching all together. He’d snatched up his jacket and stolen outside, lighting up with a sigh of relief. It was probably nights like this that had started him on smoking to begin with. There’s something calming about sitting on the front porch with a cigarette – no matter now damn cold it is – and just taking a time out.
And Cam’s finding himself more and more in need of time outs now that both his parents are working full-time and his brother is at that pain-in-the-ass age when he thinks he’s king of the fucking world. Cam misses the days when Ryan didn’t suffer from middle-child-fucktard syndrome. He keeps telling the kid to relax and keeps wondering when, exactly, he became the responsible one.
Another sigh, this one smoke-filled, and Cam manages to get himself under control. He thinks he’ll stay out for another smoke after this one, just to make sure his brother’s calmed down too.
“Cam! Cam!”
His head whips around and he’s stubbing out his cigarette as quickly as he can because Molly is scrambling out to crawl into his lap. He’d promised himself, back when he’d first realized just how addicted he is, that she wouldn’t ever see him smoking until she’s old enough to understand that it’s a bad habit and this is one thing she shouldn’t emulate him on.
He blinks down at her a second. “Shit, Molls. What the hell are you doing out here without your coat, huh? You’ll catch pneumonia or something.” Without a second’s hesitation he’s taking his own off and wrapping it around her much smaller body.
“Cam. Ryan won’t play with me.”
“So play by yourself.”
“I don’t want to!” Molly pouts at him and Cam is immediately helpless to resist his baby sister’s will. He knows he’ll put up a show but in the end he’s going to give in to whatever she wants. It always happens that way. Little Miss Molly Mitchell has her biggest brother wrapped around her finger.
“So what do you want me to do about it?”
“Play with me.” The ‘duh’ is obvious in her tone.
“I’m busy.”
“No you’re not. You’re just sitting.”
He laughs quietly, poking her through the thick padding of his jacket. “What makes you think that means I’m not busy?” Poking quickly turns into tickling.
Molly just squeals with giggles and tries to squirm away. “You’re not!”
Cam makes sure he can catch her if she squirms right off his lap and tickles her for a few moments more, just enjoying that they can still goof around like this. He knows that next year he’s going to be going off to college somewhere he really hopes won’t have to be the University of Eschatos. He knows he’s going to miss her starting kindergarten and a hundred other things. He knows he won'’ be in town to see a lot of her growing up. Because another thing Cam’s promised himself, long before Molly was born, is that he'’ not going to spend the rest of his life in this town. It’s not a question of wanting to get away from his family, but one of needing to be his own person and find some adventure. He knows that when he’s ready to, he’ll probably settle down in a town just like this one, but that’s a long way off.
In the here and now, Cam shivers in the cold, and he bundles Molly up tighter. “Tell you what, Molls. I’ll play with you if you take a bath first. And you have to promise to be a good girl and go to bed when I say so. Okay?”
Molly nods eagerly and he scoops her up to carry her back inside. He shoos her upstairs with the promise of being right up, and pokes his head into the living room.
“Hey Ryan?” His brother glances up from his video game, question in his eyes. “Sorry, man. I know you don’t need me to baby-sit you.”
Ryan smiles faintly, and nods. “It’s cool.”
“So we good?”
“We’re good.”
“Cool. Can I play you after I’m done with the monster?”
“You mean lose to me.” Ryan laughed at him and Cam just threw his coat across the room at his brother’s head.
“We’ll see about that.” Everything’s good between them again and now all Cam has to do is get through a couple hours of Molly time. And hopefully avoid the make-up.
Tags: babysitting, family, narrative